David Michalicek, M.A.
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
1885 The Alameda, San Jose, CA
408.628.9179

Books related to Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (my model):

• Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships – Sue Johnson

• Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love – Sue Johnson

• Created For Connection: The “Hold Me Tight” Guide for Christian Couples – Sue Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer

• Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy for Dummies – Brent Bradley and James Furrow

• An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Couples: The Two of Us – Veronica Kallos-Lilly and Jennifer Fitzgerald

Other books that I’ve found helpful for couples:

• How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage (Christian) – Milan and Kay Yerkovich

• After the Affair – Janis Abrahms Spring and Michael Spring

• The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps – Melissa Orlov

• Boundaries(Christian) – Henry Cloud

• Codependent No More – Melody Beattie

• Escaping Toxic Guilt – Susan Carrell

• Emotional Blackmail – Susan Forward

• The Betrayal Bond – Patrick Carnes

• Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids – Laura Markham

• The Explosive Child A new approach for understanding and parenting easily frustrated children – Ross Greene, PhD

• Love and Logic – Book Series by Foster Cline and Jim Fay, additional information at www.loveandlogic.com

• 1-2-3 Magic (2-12 year olds) – Thomas Phelan

• Parenting From the Inside Out – Daniel Siegel

• No-Drama Discipline – Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

• How to Talk so Kids will Listen and How to Listen so Kids will Talk – Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

• How to Talk so Teens will Listen and How to Listen so Teens will Talk – Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

• TiLT Parenting – Debbie Reber (podcast, blog and newsletter for parent's raising "differently wired" kids)

• Seth Perler - Excutive Function Coach (information for parents and children with executive function challenges)

• Parents Helping Parents– help for parents with special needs children

• Waking the Tiger – Peter Levine

• I Can’t Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors – Aphrodite Matsakis

• The Betrayal Bond – Patrick Carnes (help for relational trauma and abuse)

• Kara - Grief support for children, teens, families and adults (Palo Alto, CA)

• The Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion

• It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand – Megan Devine

• The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents – Alexander Levy

• Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love – Earl A. Grollman

• A Parent's Guide to Raising Grieving Children: Rebuilding Your Family after the Death of a Loved One – Phyllis Rolfe Silverman

• I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One – Brook Noel

• The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss – George A. Bonanno

• The Invisible String – Patrice Karst (children's book)

• How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies – Therese A. Rando

• Living Like You Mean It – Ronald Frederick

• It’s Not Always Depression – Hilary Jacobs Hendel

• The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem – Nathaniel Branden

• The Happiness Trap – Russ Harris

• Anxiety, Phobias, and Panic – Reneau Peurifoy

• Stress Free for Good – Fred Luskin and Kenneth Pelletier

• The How of Happiness – Sonja Lyubomirsky

• Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time – Michael Addis and Christopher Martell

• Overcoming Depression – Paul Gilbert

• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life – Mark Manson (This book is not for those who are uncomfortable with profanity. If that doesn’t bother you, Mark makes some good points in an original way.)

Emotion and Physical Pain

• Unlearn Your Pain – Howard Schubiner MD and Michael Betzold

• When the Body Says No – Gabor Maté

Personality:

• Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life is Your Hidden Strength – Laurie Helgoe

• Please Understand Me – David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates

• The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brene Brown

• Living Like You Mean It – Ronald Frederick

• It’s Not Always Depression – Hilary Jacobs Hendel

• Shame & Guilt: Masters of Disguise – Jane Middelton-Moz

• Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life – Potter-Efron

• Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control – Allan E. Mallinger and Jeannette Dewyze.

• Tools for assessing and developing self-compassion (an antidote to both)

• How to Have your Cake and your Skinny Jeans Too – Josie Spinardi (Excellent guide on intuitive eating if you ignore the emphasis on “skinny”)

• The Obesity Code – Unlocking the Secrets of Weight Loss – Jason Fung

• Overcoming Overeating – Jane R. Hirschmann & Carol H. Munter

• Embrace Documentary on Women’s Body Image

• Addict In The Family – Beverly Conyers

• Everything Changes: Help for Families of Newly Recovering Addicts – Beverly Conyers

• It Will Never Happen To Me – Claudia Black (for children of alcoholics)

• Sober Siblings: How to Help Your Alcoholic Brother or Sister-and Not Lose Yourself – Patricia Olsen, Petros Levounis M.D.

• Willpower Is Not Enough – Arnold Washton

• Boundaries(Christian) – Henry Cloud

• Codependent No More – Melody Beattie

• Calm - Free app for meditation and relaxation

• Insight Timer - Free app for mediation and relaxation

• UCSD Free Mindfulness Audios and Videos

• UCLA Free Mindful Awareness Audios

• Create Inner Peace: Self-Hypnosis Relaxation by Glenn Harrold

• Free app: Relax and Sleep Well by Glenn Harrold

• Spire Stress Management Device (Bio-Feedback Using the Breath)

• Inner Balance Device (Bio-Feedback using Heart-Rate Variability)

• Meditation Oasis Podcast – Free podcast about meditation and other interesting material

• Mindfulness for Beginners – Jon Kabat-Zinn, Audio CD

• Guided Mindfulness Meditation: A Complete Program – Jon Kabat-Zinn, Audio CD

Mindful Stretching / Exercise to reduce anxiety and stress:

• Yoga with Adriene – Adriene Mishler (free)

• Yoga for Your Week – Rodney Yee (DVD)

• A.M. and P.M. Yoga For Beginners – Rodney Yee (DVD)

• The Ultimate Yogi(Advanced Yoga) – Travis Eliot (DVD set)

• Yoga Journal’s Beginning Yoga Step by Step– Yoga Journal (DVD set)

• Somatics: Reawakening The Mind’s Control of Movement, Flexibility, and Health– Thomas Hanna

• The art of being yourself – Caroline McHugh

• What I learned from 100 days of rejection – Jia Jiang

• The less you own, the more you have – Angela Horn

• The power of vulnerability – Brene Brown

A few other short videos that I have found to be helpful:

• Empathy (An RSA Short) – Brene Brown

• Blame (An RSA Short) – Brene Brown

Why we behave the worst in the relationships that matter the most:

The “stillface experiment” in this clip shows what happens for an infant (and in all of us, just in a more adult version!) when we feel disconnected from those we love.